DISEASED

A short note about moldy teeth and snot


My grandson was sick last week. His face was pale, his nose stopped up, his eyes had a hangdog look to them. He was precious. I pulled out all my mother/nurse/nanna tricks. I encouraged fluids, tried to keep him quiet and placed my hand on his cheek often, checking for fever.

OK, I yelled at him, when he grabbed a coat and ran outside into the cold wind. And, yes, I yelled when he decided to have a wrestling match with his brother and Pawpaw. It made me feel better if he played quietly. A kid can be dying and if something that looks like fun comes along, he is up and at it. I think like a nanna; when I'm sick, I just want to lie down. Nothing can make me want to play.

So, the boy gave me his illness and got on with his life. I've been laying around making old lady noises, blowing my nose, wearing the same pajamas for two days in a row. And how gross! My teeth and tongue felt like they had mold growing on them. A shower and all the oral care in the world would last only long enough for me to go from freezing cold to hot and sweaty. Then there I was again, smelly with a bad taste in my mouth. And the cough, all wet, croupy, lots of mucus. How does a head make so much snot?!

I wasn't sick enough to just lie in bed and pray to die. Therefore, I went from the recliner to the bed several times a day. My pillow was too soft, it was too hot, my blanket was too thick, and then I would freeze. My tissue was always in the other room. My eyes burned, my face looked all swollen. My hair stuck up in weird places. Not a good look for a woman of my age.

No one wanted to be with me. I became an outcast in society. My husband sat across the room from me and would withdraw even more when I took to wheezing. Between the germs, snoring and coughing, I was sent to live in the guestroom. Friends called to check on me, but they all said they wouldn't be in the same room with me unless I was wearing a mask. Ha, didn't matter, several of them got sick too. Then they called for medical advice.

I had been inside for days and was bored. Just to be mean, I made them describe their illness in great detail. I asked questions, made them repeat things. I, especially, wanted to know if their mucus was clear or yellow and how much? Did they have gook in the back of their throat, were they coughing up stuff from their lungs? My nice lady-like gal pals hate talking about any sort of body secretions. They like to pretend they don't have secretions. As a nurse, I wasn't bothered, I just listened and continued to drink my hot chocolate and eat my toast.

And yes, I finally gave them the same advice their doctor would have given them and it was free. I used big medical terms, but all they had to do was increase liquids, take an OTC cough medicine and wait it out. Everyone will be better in a week or two no matter what they do.

My grandsons stopped by for a visit while I was ill. They weren't interested in the aches and pains. The youngest one looked at me and wanted to know why my hair had a big bump on top and was flat in the back? I attempted to tell him all about being sick. He just asked, "Nanna, you got any cookies? And, please, I need some milk too."

Today, feeling a little better, I picked up some old clothes off the floor, dressed and took a walk to the park.

I felt a little like being out of jail. The sky was sort of extra blue, the cool breeze refreshing. People were going about their day, walking their dog and playing tennis. I wanted to stop and tell them to appreciate their good health. "If you don't have your health you don't have anything." But then the words of my husband came back, "Lord, Woman, all you have is a cold, you're not dying. Get over yourself!"

Life goes on.


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