A THOUGHT ABOUT LABOR DAY

Note-Thoughts about Labor Day


Most of us get together on Labor Day and grill outside. We do the same thing for July 4th and Memorial Day. Why?

It makes no sense. It took thousands of years for the human race to quit living in the woods, cooking on an open fire and to invent the stove. This is one of the reasons I think we're just not a whole lot smarter than the apes. Given a chance, I bet the normal ape would move inside a nice home and cook on a stove.

Most of us live an easy life. Our home is warmed in the winter and cooled in the summer. Our kitchen has a stove, microwave, refrigerator, pots, pans, and enough food to feed a small army. We have only to get up off the sofa and walk about 25 feet. Then if we want, we can even eat in a soft bed, while watching movies or football on TV.

But, nooooooooooo, we sit, let it get hot as hell, and then we run outside and build a fire and cook meat. We're lucky our men don't wear our fur coats out there, just like our caveman relatives. Sort of cut off on one shoulder, think Fred Flintstone.

Because it is a long holiday weekend, the real bright humans go one step further.........we go camping.

This can be done two ways and both are totally insane. I know, cause I have done both and thought it was wonderful. I have since gotten on some medication and my mind is clear.

The first way to camp is just with the minimum amount of junk. Maybe a tent. Usually there are sleeping bags, some canned food, and an old pot or skillet. You drive for hours to find a forest. You park and hike into said forest. First an area has to be found that is level and clean. The tent has to be set up with all of the tent stakes and poles. This is where the cussing and sweating starts. The instructions are back home on the table.

Dinner under the stars is always interesting. A fire has to be started (if you remembered to bring matches) and somehow you need a way to set that old pot/skillet over the fire. Usually, it pays to bring extra food. You are surely going to dump the first course into the fire. You restart the fire with dry wood and try again. Supper will be burned and seasoned with ashes. However, it tastes pretty good, because you are starving by this time. There is a restaurant about four miles away, but no one is giving up all this fun.

You have to brush your teeth with an ounce of water. Forget a shower. Nothing is more fun than taking a flashlight and wandering around in the woods because you forgot to pee while the sun was out. This is how I know only men could think up this camping thing. They just find a tree and aim. Women have to squat and we then pee on our ankles and our shoes, and wait for a snake to bite our butts. Trying to balance, unroll toilet paper and wipe is impossible.

And later, when it is dark and still hot, you try and go to sleep, only to find that the ground is not level, your head is lower than your feet. And there are acorns, rocks, sticks, something poking you no matter how you lay. Not a breeze blows to dry the sweat. And I can't sleep with dirty feet or sweat. You find out that people snore and fart a lot. How did that mosquito get in the tent?

One last note on this primitive camping. There is nothing to do out there, it is dark and you can only sing around the camp fire for so long. For a few minutes you enjoy the crickets and frogs then you just want them to SHUT UP!

The second type of camping involves spending money on a portable metal house on wheels. There are many kinds, trailers from 15 feet to around 40 feet and cost many, many thousands of dollars. You spend a week moving items from your perfectly good home into this metal box. TV, games, clothes, a complete kitchen has to be furnished, linens, bikes, lawn chairs, a grill, tool box (cause something is going to break), the list is endless. You fill the bathroom with all the things you might need from toothbrushes to a cute little bath mat.

After you fill the trailer/motor home with everything you own, you are ready to start on your adventure.

You then drive for hours only to find a crowded campground. You rent a small piece of ground with neighbors on both sides so close you can hear their toilet flush. Oh, and someone likes their music loud! There is much to do, setting up your "camp site". Mama takes groceries out of her fully stocked refrigerator and cooks on a gas stove while the kids play with their electronic games and dad watches sports on the flat screened TV. It isn't just like home. Mom has to hand wash the dishes. Showers are taken and everyone settles down in nice clean soft beds. With the air conditioning running you can hardly hear the music from next door. You aren't even aware the crickets and frogs are out there.

Dad will get out his grill and cook hamburgers one night. You will try and sit outside to eat, but the mosquitos will run you inside.

After thinking about the whole thing, I guess, grilling on the patio is better than camping. But I stick to my guns about one thing. It's dumb to do wait until the thermometer is ninety-five degrees. Wouldn't it make more sense to grill on cold holidays, such as Thanksgivings and Xmas, maybe even Valentine's Day? Just a suggestion.



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